Mastering Informal Conversations in English

Informal interactions are important in professional life. These in-person conversations occur during coffee-breaks, lunches and dinners when attending conferences, meetings or training events.

Social networking in this way contributes to building professional relationships. The process helps to create trust and rapport with other professionals and can open the way to rewarding collaborations and career opportunities.

Communicating in informal settings poses challenges for non-native English speakers. My clients often ask for help with understanding everyday English. They want to be able to interact with ease and confidence in informal settings.

“I’m fine discussing technical topics in English but I find informal conversation difficult. I am unclear when to use formal or informal expressions.”

Small talk as a social lubricant

Small talk is light, informal conversation. It is a useful way to open up a conversation and to get to know someone better. It can be the first step in networking and in building professional relationships. Topics are safe ones that are unlikely to create controversy or to offend anyone. The joke that British people always ask about the weather refers in part to the use of the topic as a conversation starter!

Other topics may be travel, hobbies, the venue or food. These interactions can reveal a person’s interests and personality and lead to deeper conversations concerning professional collaborations or work opportunities.

Such conversations take place in the intervals before, between and after the presentations and business parts of a meeting. People talk informally over coffee, in the interval between workshops, or during a conference lunch.

Small talk can be challenging for international professionals when the shared language is English and it is not their first language. This may impact negatively on their ability to network.

“I get nervous speaking with native English speakers. I feel incompetent.”

What makes informal conversation challenging?

Outside of formal proceedings, people relax and are more likely to speak in their natural rhythm. This will be especially true amongst people sharing a culture or language. When a number of native English speakers get together, they are likely to talk very quickly and use colloquial and idiomatic expressions. If you are unfamiliar with everyday English, it can be quite challenging to understand fast-paced, light-hearted conversations.

Have a look at my previous blog for more on this: Understanding Native English Speakers

Native English speakers have an advantage over non-native speakers in that they can easily switch to talking about a range of topics. They are familiar with the cultural implications underlying what is said, and can understand different accents and dialects.

Non-native speakers, on the other hand, are dealing with a high cognitive load. The brain is working hard to make sense of the language exchange and has reduced capacity for comprehending subtle meanings or reading social cues. Added to this is a possible psycho-emotional burden. The non-native speaker may be nervous and concerned about appearing unprofessional and incompetent. Before even attempting to speak, they are at a disadvantage.

The challenge here is not just about grammar and vocabulary. It is also about a person's sense of professional identity and capacity to perform under pressure.

“I want to understand informal English and to appreciate subtle meanings. When tired or stressed, it is difficult to speak English with ease.”

Responsibility for effective communication is a two-way process

When discussing communication, the focus is often on the non-native English speaker. They are encouraged to develop their listening and speaking skills in order to be able to interact effectively with native English speakers. This is undoubtedly beneficial. But communication is a two-way process. Consideration also needs to be given to the role of the native speaker in the exchange.

For non-native speakers, preparation will help with language flow and to reduce anxiety and stress. They can become familiar with small talk topics and with everyday English. There are multiple resources and approaches available to choose from. Film, documentaries, radio shows, podcasts, blogs, books and music are ways to explore the rich variety of informal English and to hear it used in the context of natural conversations. They can rehearse different ways to start a conversation, questions to ask and possible responses. Practising relaxation, breathing and calming exercises will help to alleviate anxiety and apprehension.

Native English speakers can play an important supportive role by:

• Slowing their rate of speech

• Speaking clearly

• Avoiding complex idiomatic expressions, jargon and obscure cultural references

• Listening actively

• Giving the non-native speaker time and opportunity to contribute to the conversation.

Doing so requires self-awareness and acknowledgement of the advantage that they have. Organisers of events have a role to play in informing and providing briefings for their delegates and participants.

Perfect English is not the goal. Inclusive, effective discourse across diversity of cultures is!

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